Self-love vs. Self-masturbation.

I’m seeing recently, that by being brave in thought and action and having a somewhat free-flowing nomadic gypsy life, I have had access to ‘alternate’ realities and learned some interesting lessons.
One example- Tuesday nights in a 4 floor, candlelit workplace with aerial hoops, gigantic crystal chandeliers and dancing, soapy, naked, glittery girls on stage (lesson- it’s beautiful and feminine and sexual and I see I shouldn’t be scared of that powerful combination).

Where the girls outnumber the boys 10:1 and in their 8″ heels are usually taller. It’s not your regular 9-5, it’s not a ‘normal’ reality. It’s unusual and intriguing. I’ve learned no matter who you are, what you can do, how charming you may be, how beautiful you look, or how much love you have to give, some people will still not like you in life (and this is okay). Fuck ‘em and stay happy anyway.

I am also learning that I am beautiful. And that you are all beautiful too. That we live on an infinitely beautiful jewel encrusted planet and that being positive feels good.

That negativity, insecurity and too much ego leads to self-masturbation, when what I actually desire is self-love and symbiotic-love. And I should not be ashamed of this desire.

Love is not vanity, possession or ego. Love is gratitude and appreciation. It’s feeling thankful and happy for all existence. It is knowing I am just a small fractal of a much bigger picture.

I am good enough and worth enough to love myself. Properly Love. Gratitude-and-awareness love. Calmly-centering-myself love. Appreciating-my-health-and-body love. Understanding-the-beautiful-complexity-of-life love. The juicy bits. Juicy love.
I have learned that I can, if I want to, access the time and energy that I have available to me and go find a space to make something positive with it. I can make whatever I like. I can make sparkles and more love.

Or upcycled bunny ears and workshops on daydream-catching. And I can share these things that I have ‘made’ with anyone else that wants to join in. And even though this sometimes leaves me feeling vulnerable, that is okay, because it’s not about me.

It’s all about amplifying good energy and action. I can aim to be a productive, efficient, creator.

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there” – Cheshire Cat.

I started researching, networking and looking for others on the same trip. I have been thinking about where I want to be and what I want to do.

Looking further into ‘intentional communities’ and listening to the tales and experience of others and using that as a guide for direction. I’m looking to find a good festival vibe.

An international, travelling, intentional community, a network of good people, good food and good speakers. A gypsy tribe and a piece of paradise; my kind of home. It has led me to some inspiring finds.

Burning Man: http://burningman.org/

‘A network of Dreamers and doers.’

Black Rock City – Nevada.

Regional- ‘Burning Seed’ Southern Hempisphere, ‘Nowhere’ Northern Hemisphere. With many more regional ‘burn philosophy’ offshoots in cities worldwide.

Rooted in the values expressed by the Ten Principles, this culture is manifested around the globe through art, communal effort, and innumerable individual acts of self-expression. To many, it is a way of life.”

Confest: http://confest.org.au/

“(Conference/Festival) is a gathering of people wishing to share talents, skills, ideas, concerns and philosophies in a caring fun loving and tolerant atmosphere.

The presentation of workshops, demonstrations, entertainments and the maintenance of site facilities are all performed by volunteers, monetary payment is neither accepted nor made.”

 

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